Everyone has had a moment where they are caught off guard by someone else’s actions or words and it renders you speechless. That exact moment when you were meant to respond, object, or speak up for yourself is gone. Hours later you are replaying it in your mind and kicking yourself for not saying or doing anything. Freezing or blanking in a moment of overwhelm or confusion is a natural response, but nobody is every happy about it. If only you had a few responses prepared ahead of time so they are not so hard to access in the moment. Below are 3 Difficult Work Situations and How to Respond.
1. During a stressful situation, a co-worker or manager yells at you.
When working with a team, there can be many stressful situations that happen at work, regardless of the industry. When you work closely with people on a daily basis, you become comfortable with them on a more personal level. Whether you like them or not, your responses change over time as you spend more time together. This is completely natural and okay as long as you keep in mind that you are still in a professional setting.
From time to time, when you or someone on your team in under a lot of stress, negative emotions may flare seemingly out of nowhere. The best way to respond and diffuse an escalating situation is to call out what they did as an isolated event and in a professional manner.
Response: “I realize this moment is stressful, but I’d appreciate you speaking to me in a different tone.”
This calmly calls out the immediate behavior without escalating the situation by matching their tone or bringing up other instances. It reminds them that you are in a professional setting and that you deserve respect without belittling them in a stressful moment.
2. A Co-Worker Or Manager Takes Credit for Your Idea
There are a few different ways one can take credit for your ideas. Whether someone mentions your idea in a meeting after you had previously stated them in a different setting or just restates what you said in different words, it can be very infuriating and uncomfortable in the moment. Often unexpected, we have a tendency to stay silent out of shock or fear we may come off defensive.
Response: “Thank you for spotlighting my point… ”
If spoken with confidence and composure, this is a great way to take back your power in a professional setting. This brings the focus back to you where you can elaborate on the idea as your own instead of watching someone else do it for you. This response also saves you from casting your co-worker or manager in a bad light, possibly embarrassing them in front of others.
3. You’re Asked to Stay Late When You Have a Personal Commitment
This is a situation that happens often across all industries. You have made plans or have personal obligations after work and are asked last minute to stay late. Of course, everyone wants to be a team player, but sometimes you just can’t stay for the extra time. Often many feel uncomfortable saying no because they feel as though they will be judged by their peers or managers for needing to attend to personal matters over work.
Response: “I’m sorry, I have another commitment.”
This response is good to have in your back pocket, and if said with confidence, cannot be questioned. Managers and Co-workers do not have the right to know what is going on in your personal life. It is not necessary to tell them you need to relieve the babysitter or have a party to attend. Even if we feel like we need to tell them the whole story as to why you can’t stay, you simply do not. All they need to know is that you have another commitment that cannot be rearranged.
The best way to keep yourself from entering “freeze mode” when caught off guard with a difficult situation, is to not be caught off guard. Prepare a few solid responses to your most uncomfortable work situations and you will be more confident when you are faced with them.
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